Loch Ness Monster
by DizziDoom
Summary: Johnny fails at sexting.


Suppressing a lewd smile, Johnny scrolled through his contacts looking for that hot blondes name. They had been sending each other flirty texts all day, and some of the things she had sent before he had dinner had got him really riled up. Made it rather awkward when he had to spend ten minutes calming the_Loch Ness Monster_ in his pants before meeting his family.  
He had rather cleverly decided to delete the messages just inc ase his dumb younger cousin decided to play with his phone.

Which the brat did.

But now he had to search for her name, rather than just reply. So annoying…. And he couldn't remember if she was Bridgett or Laura. Both girls were blonde and had fabulous tits. He could send the picture to both girls but… the one he hadn't been messaging might be pissed over getting a random dick pic.

Glaring at his phone, Johnny tried to desperately remember the girl's name. Bridgett? It must have been her. She was the one at the University near him, right?

He decided to take a chance. Quickly undoing his pants and pushing them down slightly, he leaned back in his chair to get a better angle of his dick. Holding it seductively (or as seductively as he could mange from this position anyways), he quickly snapped a pic and then sent it to… Bryan?

What?

"Fuck! No nonoohnono. How do I un-send?"

Jumping up from his seat Johnny took one step forward and landed on his face. Swearing as loud as he could he righted himself and pulled up his pants. Redoing the zipper and standing up Johnny searched for his phone. It had flown out of his hand and landed somewhere. It was too late to undo the message. Maybe he hadn't actually sent it to Bryan. Maybe he had misread. Maybe he should stop kidding himself and call his head of security. He just sent a dick pic to the craziest of the crazy Russians. He's going to get murdered in the middle of the night

A twittering noise came from under his couch.

Oh god.

He got a reply.

Slowly crouching down, Johnny reached under and found the sleek phone. Well, at least the screen wasn't cracked after he accidentally flung it across the room. Holding the phone out in front of him he willed himself to unlock it and read the message. Maybe it had in fact gone to Bridgett. Well, the reply had been rather quick. Wouldn't Bryan have spent ten minutes spewing swear words at everything and breaking anything he could get his hands on? There is a reason the Russian was feared after all.

Mentally berating himself for worrying so much, Johnny quickly unlocked the phone. Quickly tapping his way to the message his heart dropped.  
_  
Bryan K: 1 Message.  
_  
Oh fuck_. _

Any hope of it being sent to the right person flew out of the window. Johnny realised he is going to have to tell security to keep a look out for silver haired people wanting his blood. Hopefully he doesn't need to explain why. Figuring he might as well get it over with Johnny opened the text message.

'not impressed.'

… What? That's not right. Johnny stared at his phone for a few more seconds, re-reading the text. Re-reading the name. Where was the swear words? The threats? Maybe the guy was drunk. He is Russian after all. Probably been drinking all day. And not impressed? What the hell? Fucking dick head Russian. Face burning red from embarrassment and rage Johnny quickly typed out a reply.

'Fuck you. That wasn't meant for you anyways. Meant for a girl called Bridgett.'

Quickly pressing send, Johnny walked to his mini fridge looking for something to drink. Maybe some whiskey will help right now. His phone beeped as he pulled out the bottle.

'well at least you saved her from disappointment.'

Spluttering at the insult Johnny quickly texted back.

'Fuck you. She was gagging for it.'

He glared at his phone, waiting for the next reply. Bryan was being oddly talkative. Or is this what he is usually like? Only reason Johnny even had the freaks number was because of the BBA. They made everyone swap numbers. Not a wise choice. Kai changed phones after the constant pestering from his more talkative friends. Also, rumour was it that Tala sent constant death threats to Garlic.. Garfield..? Wait no, Garland. His name was Garland. Poor guy. His parents must not have liked him to give him that name. Johnny was brought out of his thoughts when his phoned beeped again. That message tone was starting to get right on his nerves.

'After seeing that she wouldn't have been.'

"Fucks sake!" Moving the whiskey glass out of the way, Johnny quickly replied. Fucking dick head tying to piss him off. It won't work!

'Yeah well, Im more a grower than a shower.'

Pressing his lips into a thin line he gripped his phone waiting for a reply. This whole thing was starting to really, really annoy him.

'prove it.'

Is this a game? Is the Russian trying to flirt…? Ha, no way. Did anyone on his team even know how to flirt? Probably not. He was teasing Johnny. Trying to get under his skin. Well, two can play at that game.

'Not unless I get something in return.'

Sticking his tongue out at the phone Johnny went back to making his drink. The clink of ice in the glass almost made him miss the message tone.

'like hell gay boy.'

Pff, what? Bryan wanted another dick pic and then dares to call him a gay boy. Bleh, right, reply.

'Im not even into dudes so shut the fuck up.'

Message sent and back to dri- and Bryan already replied?

'not what I heard'

Blinking in confusion Johnny quickly replied.

'What?'

There was nooo way Bryan could know about _that_ right?

'funny thing, people dont expect Spencer to be one for gossip. your german friend certainly didnt. then again he was drunk as fuck.'

Well shit. Shit shit shitshit shitt. Biting his lip, Johnny wasn't sure on how to reply. That night had been kind of an accident. Sort of. He had been flirting with Robert for a long time. He didn't expect the man to actually want to do anything. The day after had been awkward… Oh god, he needed to fix this.

'Oh my god. I was black out drunk when that happened. We both were. Fucking hell. You better not have told anyone else!'

Nervously, Johnny pressed send. Oh god, what if this gets back to his Father?.. And what the hell was Robert thinking?! Why tell someone else?

'maybe I did. maybe I didnt. Im sure you will find out soon enough.'

Hissing in anger Johnny sent off another quick message.

'Fuck you!'

Asshole Russian was enjoying this! Fucker. How dare Robert tell someone else ab- Another message.

'Im sure thats what you would love to do.'

More teasing? Downing the whiskey, Johnny returned to glaring at his phone. The wanker had returned to teasing again. God, this was confusing.

'Doubt it. I bet you are only trying to make me feel bad to compensate for your tiny dick.'

Johnny needed to remember to phone Robert later. When the hell did he get drunk with Spencer? He wasn't even in Russia. Or was the burly blonde in Germany? God damn this was all annoying. Johnny couldn't help but blame Bridgett and her glorious tits for this mess.

'seems like your the one currently gagging for dick.'

More gay joking. Fine. Tiny dick jokes will be returned in kind.

'Fuck off midget dick.'

'no thats you. I got a photo to prove it.'

That was a quick reply. Grinning as he typed Johnny hoped the other was as annoyed as he was earlier. He didn't want to admit that he actually did want a dick picture. It was only fair after all. Bryan had one of his. Even if it was an accident.

'Nope you.'

'fuck off. Im not.'

'Lol prove it.'

'fuck. fine. I still say you are lying over being a 'grower', Johnny.'

The picture Johnny received did not disappoint. Well, guess his luck wasn't all bad today. A picture of Bridgett's tits would not have made him as hard, that's for sure. The lewd grin from before returned as he saved the picture to his phone, before replying.

'Not bad I guess. Also lol looks like your grey hair really is hair dye ;P'

Sending the text he waited impatiently for the reply. Yeah, tonight wasn't so bad after all.

-o-0-o-

This is for a certain someone. This is your fault, and you know why.


End file.
